A Case of the Mondays

Damn the Man
Today at work we had a conference call. One of my bosses, MM - who is decidedly not a Cubs fan, started off the call asking about the (sweet) fight on Saturday:

MM: What do you guys think? Did that Cubs player make the right choice?
lada thinking: "That Cubs player"?? I don't like where this "right choice" question is going. Why do I feel like I am in Office Space?
Jeff the Sox fan: I think it was a bad decision, violence is never condoned in modern society, even in sports.
MM: But I think we can all understand how it happened, right? When we feel something unfair has happened, we sometimes react aggressively to it. I bet you all have gotten frustrated with a customer before.
Joe the suck-up: Yeah, I know I have overreacted before.
lada thinking: AHH! Is she trying to teach her co-workers a life lesson using Cubs baseball as a freaking metaphor? I don't need a lesson; I have on enough pieces of flare!
MM: Let's come up with a better way he could have handle this. . .
lada sputtering (with the phone safely muted): She better not talk shit about my boyfriend - Michael Barrett is my hero - he is paid to be physical, who can blame him if he starts a rumble every now and then - if anything, he punched some freaking spirit into the rest of the team - and what baseball fan doesn't love a little extra excitement when their team is sucking - I seriously, cannot believe she is relating this to how we should handle angry customers!

T.M.I.
I have a confession – I like a lot of water pressure in my shower. I know I must be the only one who feels this way because every shower in Chicago seems to have really sucky flow (it feels like someone is drooling on me.) I think if other people agreed with me, some plumber's union would do something about it. We live on a lake for Pete’s sake (who the heck is Pete?); no h2o pressure in Vegas might make sense to me, but we are on Lake Michigan. My Aunt in Florida had an amazing shower – it felt like an ocean wave was smacking the back of your head; of course the hot water only lasted six minutes – but as long as you were the first one in the shower every morning, it was bliss.

God bless AM radio
This morning on WGN, I heard a commercial advertising Botox used to treat primary axillary hyperhidrosis, otherwise known as heavy underarm sweating, otherwise known as gross. The odd thing is, along with headache, dry mouth, injection site pain or whatever the usual adverse reactions are, they said cessation of under arm sweating was a side effect. This confused me. I thought no more sweating was the whole point. Which made me wonder, if that is the side affect, what then was the main effect - paralysis of the biceps, severe armpit hair growth?

Maybe I just misheard the commercial. . . I did have the window down and sunroof open even though it was 40 degrees out which meant I had to have the heat on to counteract the cold wind blowing in and then there was the drunk driver in the right lane next to me who didn't see the motorcyclist in front of him and was accelerating way too fast until all of a sudden he did see the cycle and instead of being logical and BRAKING, he decided to pass him which meant suddenly swerving into my center lane - until his delayed reaction revealed to him that I was already occupying the space that he was aiming for in said lane and so he had to counter-swerve back behind the motorcycle and then - real dramatic like - slam on his brakes to go behind both of us in the left lane and speed past. In his (to be fair, it could have been a her) brown pinto. I was distracted, perhaps I misheard the commercial - go Botox!

Quote of the day - Heather (minutes after finishing her last test of third year med school): "It is a good day to be a day-drinker!"

or

Heather: "I need help. I wanted to save money, so I tried highlighting my own hair. . . "

- la la la* da

*Babe rocks!