Isn't She Lovely - Stevie Wonder
Beautiful Boy - John Lennon
Gracie - Ben Folds
Baby Baby - Amy Grant
Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel) - Billy Joel
Family Affair - Sly & The Family Stone
Baby Boy - Beyoncé
Cry Like a Baby - The Box Tops
My Darling - Wilco
Hey Baby - No Doubt
Mother and Child Reunion - Paul Simon
Mamma Mia - ABBA
Flowers in the Window - Travis
Take Good Care of My Baby - Dion
You Mama You - Jude
. . . Baby One More Time - Fountains of Wayne
B-A-B-Y - Carla Thomas
We Will Rock You - Linda Ronstadt
Blessed - Elton John
My Mom - Tony Bennett
Baby Love - The Supremes
My Darling Child - Sinéad O'Connor
Baby - UB40
You Are the Sunshine of My Life - Stevie Wonder
- lada is decidedly not pregnant
*Current iPod playlist (for the Christopher James baby shower. . .)
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Shopping Tribulations (a.k.a. My Life Is Sooo Hard!)
Don't you hate when you accidentally wear a red shirt when you go shopping at Target? You know, the store that has no dress code other than "wear some type of shirt that is some shade red." Then the people-think-you-work-at-Target-because-you-have-on-a-red-shirt thing happens and they ask you where the Vaseline or Slimfast is located. Now, these are logical questions since the Slimfast is not with the other food products, but in the pharmacy area and the Vaseline is not in the pharmacy, but is located in the baby area. But after you tell the customers this information they wander off without much thanks because they assume Target is showing you its own appreciation for answering customers' questions by paying you a salary. Not the case you fools.
And yet it is easier to just quickly answer their questions then to try and explain to them that you don't actually work at Target because then you have to listen to them apologize and be all embarrassed and then you have to tell them that it is cool, and that you understand why they would assume you work at Target because you are wearing a red shirt. Then everyone has to smile all friendly like. Haha, this was just a silly little mistake between strangers. Oh so freaking hilarious. Grrrr. . .
What is worse is when you wear a shirt that you just purchased, back to shop at the same store where the shirt was just purchased. Then you are standing there wearing a shirt that is the exact replica of ten other shirts hanging on a rack in front of you. Idiot. You get worried that when you leave the store wearing the shirt, someone is going to think you are stealing the shirt - until you realize that you spilled oatmeal on your shirt that morning, so if anyone does think you stole the shirt as you leave the store, you can point out this stain as the evidence that you had in fact, purchased the shirt prior to breakfast. But no one stops you and accuses you of stealing the shirt - which is good - probably because they could already spot the oatmeal stain a mile away - which is bad.
They will however, stop you and paw through your stuff because they think you are stealing if you are wearing jeans you bought six months ago from The Gap that set off the sensor today at Old Navy. And then they lecture you about not cutting the tag off merchandise, tell you where the tag is located, and explain how to cut off the tag (gasp, with scissors!).
To which I say: Shut it you, or I'll cut off YOUR tag!
. . . grumbling. . . more grumbling. . . and I'm done.
I was sent this link to help with my future studies. (lada is really moving up in the world of pee receptacles.) Thanks D.
I'm off to work in Palm Springs for the week so pardon my slow responses to phone calls or emails. Text is your best bet.
Oh, and go Chicago - 2018 Olympics here we come!
Quote of the day - Tim: "No, not to my knowledge, unless I become some somnambulist Hyde who trolls for victims in the dead of night."
- make all checks payable to: lada
And yet it is easier to just quickly answer their questions then to try and explain to them that you don't actually work at Target because then you have to listen to them apologize and be all embarrassed and then you have to tell them that it is cool, and that you understand why they would assume you work at Target because you are wearing a red shirt. Then everyone has to smile all friendly like. Haha, this was just a silly little mistake between strangers. Oh so freaking hilarious. Grrrr. . .
What is worse is when you wear a shirt that you just purchased, back to shop at the same store where the shirt was just purchased. Then you are standing there wearing a shirt that is the exact replica of ten other shirts hanging on a rack in front of you. Idiot. You get worried that when you leave the store wearing the shirt, someone is going to think you are stealing the shirt - until you realize that you spilled oatmeal on your shirt that morning, so if anyone does think you stole the shirt as you leave the store, you can point out this stain as the evidence that you had in fact, purchased the shirt prior to breakfast. But no one stops you and accuses you of stealing the shirt - which is good - probably because they could already spot the oatmeal stain a mile away - which is bad.
They will however, stop you and paw through your stuff because they think you are stealing if you are wearing jeans you bought six months ago from The Gap that set off the sensor today at Old Navy. And then they lecture you about not cutting the tag off merchandise, tell you where the tag is located, and explain how to cut off the tag (gasp, with scissors!).
To which I say: Shut it you, or I'll cut off YOUR tag!
. . . grumbling. . . more grumbling. . . and I'm done.
I was sent this link to help with my future studies. (lada is really moving up in the world of pee receptacles.) Thanks D.
I'm off to work in Palm Springs for the week so pardon my slow responses to phone calls or emails. Text is your best bet.
Oh, and go Chicago - 2018 Olympics here we come!
Quote of the day - Tim: "No, not to my knowledge, unless I become some somnambulist Hyde who trolls for victims in the dead of night."
- make all checks payable to: lada
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
T.I.L. (This is lada)
My life has been fairly dull lately, hence the lack of new posts. So, since I have no interesting rants, I am going to give you a story from my past. To the best of my knowledge, I have never told this story to anyone, ever. In fact I am not so sure about telling it to you now. . . ah screw it, I was only six, you can't judge me.
I always wanted to be a doctor. As far back as I can remember, I was interested in the human body and how it functioned. This meant that in high school I took the advanced science classes like microbiology. However, in first grade, kids are still learning how to read and there is not a lot of focus on exploring the human body - so I was left to explore on my own. (You can tell it is going to be messy just from that last sentence, right?)
I'm not sure if was premeditated; if I had deliberately sought a container. Or, perhaps the circumstances were just right for my six-year-old brain to say "Eureka, I've got a great idea!" Either way, I ended up in the bathroom with an empty Tic Tac container. (Oh yes, fearless reader, it is going to be B-A-D, bad.)
Now my idea was to take home a small sample of pee and study it. Let me repeat that. My idea was to take home a small sample of pee and study it. So, I filled the Tic Tac container, finished up, snuck back into the classroom ninja style palming the little plastic container (although, for someone who is six, palming probably means I had it in a tight little fist hidden behind my back), went to the back of the class where the coats and mittens were, and tucked the pee-filled container safely into the front pocket of my first grade backpack thinking, "I am awesome!"
At the end of the school day, I grabbed my pack, threw it onto my back, ran to the bus, tossed it onto the bus seat and sat down next to it to wait for my stop.
I rode the bus home as normal - probably joined all the other kids in singing whatever song came on the radio. Usually it was the Beach Boys' song "Kokomo." All the kids on the bus loved when that song came on; we all sang at the top of our lungs, "Arbua, Jamaica, ooo I wanna take you to Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama. Key Largo, Montego. . ." Oops, here's my stop.
I noticed, as I hopped off the bus in front of my house, that my backpack was now wet and stinking of urine. Not good. My faithful Tic Tac container had betrayed me and leaked; how unfortunate for me. I walked into the house to face my mom. This was not going to be fun. I played out a few scenarios out in my head:
Mom: Why does your backpack smell like pee?
little lada: I wanted to study my urine so I can be a doctor when I grow up. I took a small sample of pee and kept it in an empty Tic Tac container. Unfortunately, it leaked. Perhaps you could provide me with some more acceptable equipment so in the future I can run my experiments without any more of these issues.
Mom: That was dumb. What is wrong with you?
I knew that scenario wasn't going to work out well at all. Hell, at that point, even I knew I was an idiot. This is what I said instead:
Mom: Why does your backpack smell like pee?
little lada: (In the saddest six-year-old voice) I had to go on the bus but I didn't want to go on the seat cause everyone would see and would make fun of me, so I sat on my backpack and peed there. (tear)
Mom: Oh! You poor thing, come here and give me a hug.
Looking back on this story now, I think my mom must have known something was up. For one thing, my pants were completely dry making the "feel sorry for me because I wet myself" story a little tough to swallow. Plus there was the oddly damp Tic Tac container in the front pocket. But she never called me out on it - what a good Mom. I suppose in the end it is probably better that I did not become a doctor, eh?
- lada needs to be excused
I always wanted to be a doctor. As far back as I can remember, I was interested in the human body and how it functioned. This meant that in high school I took the advanced science classes like microbiology. However, in first grade, kids are still learning how to read and there is not a lot of focus on exploring the human body - so I was left to explore on my own. (You can tell it is going to be messy just from that last sentence, right?)
I'm not sure if was premeditated; if I had deliberately sought a container. Or, perhaps the circumstances were just right for my six-year-old brain to say "Eureka, I've got a great idea!" Either way, I ended up in the bathroom with an empty Tic Tac container. (Oh yes, fearless reader, it is going to be B-A-D, bad.)
Now my idea was to take home a small sample of pee and study it. Let me repeat that. My idea was to take home a small sample of pee and study it. So, I filled the Tic Tac container, finished up, snuck back into the classroom ninja style palming the little plastic container (although, for someone who is six, palming probably means I had it in a tight little fist hidden behind my back), went to the back of the class where the coats and mittens were, and tucked the pee-filled container safely into the front pocket of my first grade backpack thinking, "I am awesome!"
At the end of the school day, I grabbed my pack, threw it onto my back, ran to the bus, tossed it onto the bus seat and sat down next to it to wait for my stop.
I rode the bus home as normal - probably joined all the other kids in singing whatever song came on the radio. Usually it was the Beach Boys' song "Kokomo." All the kids on the bus loved when that song came on; we all sang at the top of our lungs, "Arbua, Jamaica, ooo I wanna take you to Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama. Key Largo, Montego. . ." Oops, here's my stop.
I noticed, as I hopped off the bus in front of my house, that my backpack was now wet and stinking of urine. Not good. My faithful Tic Tac container had betrayed me and leaked; how unfortunate for me. I walked into the house to face my mom. This was not going to be fun. I played out a few scenarios out in my head:
Mom: Why does your backpack smell like pee?
little lada: I wanted to study my urine so I can be a doctor when I grow up. I took a small sample of pee and kept it in an empty Tic Tac container. Unfortunately, it leaked. Perhaps you could provide me with some more acceptable equipment so in the future I can run my experiments without any more of these issues.
Mom: That was dumb. What is wrong with you?
I knew that scenario wasn't going to work out well at all. Hell, at that point, even I knew I was an idiot. This is what I said instead:
Mom: Why does your backpack smell like pee?
little lada: (In the saddest six-year-old voice) I had to go on the bus but I didn't want to go on the seat cause everyone would see and would make fun of me, so I sat on my backpack and peed there. (tear)
Mom: Oh! You poor thing, come here and give me a hug.
Looking back on this story now, I think my mom must have known something was up. For one thing, my pants were completely dry making the "feel sorry for me because I wet myself" story a little tough to swallow. Plus there was the oddly damp Tic Tac container in the front pocket. But she never called me out on it - what a good Mom. I suppose in the end it is probably better that I did not become a doctor, eh?
- lada needs to be excused
Monday, April 02, 2007
Catch Up
Sorry it has been so long - life has been hectic. We have a lot happening at work so I have been on the road here in the Carolinas more than usual plus I had to squeeze in a week in Dallas and it seemed liked every second I wasn't working I was on a treadmill trying to get ready for the run in Charleston. Oh and my laptop blew up so my blogging mobility has been drastically reduced. Here's what I didn't get a chance to mention:
Congratulations to John who was not only named the lawyer of the year in South Carolina for all his pro bono work, but his associate and he are two of the five lawyers the National Bar Association have nominated for the national lawyer of the year. What an unbelievable honor! WOW! John also kicked ass in our 10K run, coming in at 47 minutes. (Lawyer friend: check)
Congratulations to Heather who will be graduating from med school soon and will be heading to Dallas for the next several years of her life for her residency. I am super proud of you darling. Coasta Rica or bust! (Doctor friend - preferably a plastic surgeon: check and check)
Congratulations to Karen who decided that if I was going to train for a 10K in a month, she would train for a 5K in a week. Here she is running outside of Wrigley (nice tush):
She finished in at 30:39 - yay! (supportive friend who can also donate a kidney if neccessary: check)
My race was fun/long/painful/rewarding. I finished in one hour and nine seconds - not the best time, but not too shabby for my first 10K.
That's all for now.
- lada came in seventeen thousand, one hundred ninty-seventh place
Congratulations to John who was not only named the lawyer of the year in South Carolina for all his pro bono work, but his associate and he are two of the five lawyers the National Bar Association have nominated for the national lawyer of the year. What an unbelievable honor! WOW! John also kicked ass in our 10K run, coming in at 47 minutes. (Lawyer friend: check)
Congratulations to Heather who will be graduating from med school soon and will be heading to Dallas for the next several years of her life for her residency. I am super proud of you darling. Coasta Rica or bust! (Doctor friend - preferably a plastic surgeon: check and check)
Congratulations to Karen who decided that if I was going to train for a 10K in a month, she would train for a 5K in a week. Here she is running outside of Wrigley (nice tush):
She finished in at 30:39 - yay! (supportive friend who can also donate a kidney if neccessary: check)
My race was fun/long/painful/rewarding. I finished in one hour and nine seconds - not the best time, but not too shabby for my first 10K.
That's all for now.
- lada came in seventeen thousand, one hundred ninty-seventh place
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