I am not allergic to anything - not shellfish, pollen, cats, peanuts, latex, milk, mold - nothing. No runny nose or watery eyes, no sinus headaches or sneezing, no congestion or wheezing. Never. Not once in my life.
That being said, I'm having one hell of an allergic reaction. God only knows what I did/ate/swam in/inhaled/touched, but holy crap I look like I belong in a carnival. I'm talking tiny red bumps everywhere (arms, legs, stomach, back, neck). The kind of bumps that ITCH LIKE A MOFO. I called Heather.
lada: I'm dying. I have a nasty, bumpy thing all over me
Head: Are the bumps in a line?
lada: Not really, they are haphazardly everywhere
Head: Are they blisters?
lada: Eh, they're bumpy
Head: But are they blisters?
lada: They're not, not blisters. If they were in a line would that mean I have AIDS?
Head: No. Are they red?
lada: Yes
Head: Are they on your palms?
lada: No, but they are everywhere else.
Head: Hmmm...well, I can't really tell you much without being able to see the rash.
Eight years of higher education and all the girl can tell me is that I should take Benadryl.
The rest of my day (Tuesday) went like this:
- got mad at Russ because he wouldn't come anywhere near me
- tried to keep the dogs from licking the hydrocortisone cream off my arms
- took a long nap in the afternoon because the Benadryl knocked me out
When I finally went to bed (late, due to the long afternoon nap), Russ rolled over just long enough to make sure I was wearing long sleeve pajamas, lest I accidentally brush against him in the night.
The next morning (Wednesday) everything was worse! I remembered Heather's comment about needing to see what it looked like before being able to diagnose, so I whipped out my camera and took some bad ass pictures that looked like they belonged in a text book for kids to "ewww" over. (Would you fearless readers care to see the pictures? Yes? Why? I look nasty.)
Heather got the pics and called me:
lada: Am I dying?
Head: No, but I can't really tell much from the pictures. My camera phone sucks.
lada: Could you see the bumps?
Head: Yes
lada: . . .
Head: I'm not sure. Did you take Benadryl?
I popped another couple and sat down to watch a movie. Halfway through:
Russ: My stomach itches
lada: Is it bumpy?
Russ: I don't know, maybe. . .
I got up and looked at his perfectly smooth (although hairy) stomach
lada: There aren't any bumps! Do you see this? (waving my arm in front of his face) These are bumps!
Russ: Eww, get away from me.
lada: You're just trying to steal my thunder! You're not sick - I'm the one that's dying! Quit trying to get attention!
Russ: Whatever. You're not special just because you have bumps.
lada: You're not special because you don't have bumps.
Russ: Leper. My throat hurts.
lada: Quite, you
Long story short - I'm on day four and the bumps are much less ominous now. All should be well by the weekend. Sooo. . . does anyone want to snuggle?
If you're ever on Jeopardy: In Chinese, the KFC slogan "finger-lickin good" came out as "eat your fingers off".
- lada sure plays a mean pinball
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3 comments:
Heather is/will be a great doc but maybe you could involve a Dr. you can drive to in less than 20 hours...D
hey, in my defense i at least was able to tell you that it wasn't anything bad and that you just had to wait it out. you shouldn't dog the free medical advice. lucky for you i love you anyways.
I know someone who had something very similar. Bumps lasted a week and a half, purple spots lasted another week. And consider yourself lucky, I wouldnt even sleep under the same sheets, and I made sure she had socks on.
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