My mom’s favorite holiday has always been Halloween. Every October the house was overrun with decorations – robotic ravens that scream, Frankenstein balloons, giant spiders and dangling ghosts. In the morning we would eat breakfast on bat-shaped plates while the soundtrack from Beetle Juice played in the background. And the whole family spent hours in the evening putting on face paint and our handmade costumes.
For this reason, I was not surprised by the announcement over this Thanksgiving weekend that Mom would prefer my sister and I decorate her grave on Halloween rather than on Christmas or Memorial Day.
Can you picture that!? Maybe some pumpkins, a draping of cobwebs, and one of those motion activated decorations that plays recorded witch cackling.
Just imagine, you are innocently dragging your kids to the cemetery to take Great-Aunt Matilda some flowers for her grave, and the plot across the way has a pair of skeleton hands coming out of the ground and a recorded voice calling for help – how bad ass! (see also: dark, disturbing, and demented).
Then we decided, if she could possibly fit it into her very busy schedule, we could have her actual funeral on Halloween. Dead people tend to look a bit creepy anyway – so rather than painting on the makeup to try and make them look alive or normal, run with the creepiness. Slap on some green face paint and a few bandages and I'd say you have a pretty convincing costume.
If you're ever on Jeopardy:
Current top ten songs requested for funerals in the UK:
For this reason, I was not surprised by the announcement over this Thanksgiving weekend that Mom would prefer my sister and I decorate her grave on Halloween rather than on Christmas or Memorial Day.
Can you picture that!? Maybe some pumpkins, a draping of cobwebs, and one of those motion activated decorations that plays recorded witch cackling.
Just imagine, you are innocently dragging your kids to the cemetery to take Great-Aunt Matilda some flowers for her grave, and the plot across the way has a pair of skeleton hands coming out of the ground and a recorded voice calling for help – how bad ass! (see also: dark, disturbing, and demented).
Then we decided, if she could possibly fit it into her very busy schedule, we could have her actual funeral on Halloween. Dead people tend to look a bit creepy anyway – so rather than painting on the makeup to try and make them look alive or normal, run with the creepiness. Slap on some green face paint and a few bandages and I'd say you have a pretty convincing costume.
If you're ever on Jeopardy:
Current top ten songs requested for funerals in the UK:
10. Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothers
9. Every Breath You Take - The Police
8. Tears in Heaven - Eric Clapton
7. With or Without You - U2
6. Candle in the Wind - Elton John
5. Pie Jesu - Requiem
4. Wind Beneath My Wings - Bette Midler
3. I've Had the Time of My Life - Jennifer Warnes and Bill Medley
2. Angels - Robbie Williams
1. Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt
- plant lada in fertile, well-drained soil with partial shade
4 comments:
Ummm...a few observations.
'Every Breath You Take'
Is this song being requested for the funerals of serial stalkers or just people who appreciate black irony, since of course the deceased will be taking no more breaths, moves, or steps?
'Tears in Heaven'
Since EC wrote this very personal song for his son, I would feel very guilty hijacking it for my funeral.
'With or Without You'
What is the message here? "I'm glad that you're dead so I can get on with my life, but at the same time I feel like jumping in the open grave with you."
'Candle in the Wind'
Since this song was written for Marilyn Monroe and adapted for Princess Di, shouldn't they be hands off for the general populace? Or is there a reinterrment of the body that is being planned?
My funeral service will open with 'Shine On You Crazy Diamond' and close with Simple Minds 'Don't You Forget About Me'.
I think it would be fun to throw something out of the blue like 'Thriller' in there too. Just to see what people's reactions are.
(Can I do the Vincent Price part?)
And though you fight to stay alive
Your body starts to shiver
For no mere mortal can resist
The evil of the thriller
Mwah ha ha ha ha
I mean how excellent would that be to hear at a wake or something?...
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