Pulaski Day

The first Monday of March is designated Pulaski Day in Chicago. Casimir Pulaski was a famous Polish guy who kicked the Russians out of Poland. He ran into Ben Franklin in Paris, heard about our plight in the (not yet named) US, and ended up taking over the American cavalry in the Revolution. He then did all sorts of wonderful things to help the colonies kick the red coats back across the Atlantic.

But lada, you say, I didn't come here for a history lesson. This is supposed to be light, brainless reading. Have no fear dear reader, it gets funky before the end.

Chicago has the highest population of Polish peeps outside of (you guessed it) Poland. So we honor our heritage by giving Polish children the day off from school. Well, really all kids have the day off, I know this because every last one of them was in front of me in line today at Woodfield. Now, I don't mind whippersnappers taking over my mall, but this girl in Anthopologie had a shirt with half her stomach hanging out.

lada - you? A prude? No, I am not so matured that skimpy clothing offends me. It was what the lack of shirt revealed (hushed whisper) she had an outie.

I don't like outie belly buttons.
If I am innocently shopping at my mall, I should not be forced to look at your abnormal navel. I wish all the outie belly buttons of the world would go some other place (perhaps the Galapogos) so I would have no more forced interaction with them.

I am a belly button bigot. (Say that out loud, alliterations are fun!)

Do the owners of outies long for innies? Are they tired of their nub getting caught in shirt zippers and buttons? (Help! My button is stuck in my button!) Do they attend support groups, or are they living outie loud and outie proud? Why do they even exist? Do doctors make the conscious decision or is it some horrible mistake that gives them night terrors? Lucky for me, I have a (almost) doctor best friend - Heather, who I routinely call for medical advice.

lada: Why do people have outies?
Head: I have no clue, maybe it has to do with the way the cord is cut.
lada: I thought they were tied.
Head: No, they put a clamp on it until it heals over, then it gets all gross looking. I can probably answer this question better after my pediatric rotation.
lada: Do they have plastic surgery to fix it?
Head: I imagine. I think girls would have the surgery done, I would. I would hate to have an outie; it would be nasty. Although it would be kinda funny if you pierced it.

Heather - here you go:

- lada