Go Big or Go Home

Birthday consisted of a bottle of champagne at the Signature Room on the 96th floor of the Hancock followed by dancing with friends. Any night is better with tiaras and sponge animals (You know the capsules you put in the tub as a kid? Yup, you can do them in your mouth. They work faster with warm liquid though, so maybe mulled wine. I had a turkey - Karen had a duck - Evan had a platypus...or something with a tail...?) And of course, we noshed on the best carrot cake ever.

Discrete nod to Dr. Sanders (a.k.a. Gabriel) who did us a solid. Thanks.

Eight legged freaks
What is an arachnophobe to do when a spider is on the wall and no one else is home to smash it for her? I can't even get close enough to one to kill it (you never know, it might be the jumping kind) especially with something as flimsy as a tissue - paper is a useless shield against fangs. This leaves:

- Go into denial that the spider even exists and hope it just goes away.

Downside - when it does go away one must wonder where exactly it went.

- Throw a shoe at it.

Downside - explaining shoe prints on the wall to a grumpy husband

Karen found a solution! Possibly the greatest invention ever (Other than the iPod, of which I am a proud new owner - 7,500 songs, oh my!)

It has a long handle so you don't have to get anywhere near the cursed creature, then you pull the trigger and it tangles the legs all up so it can't get away while you race to the bathroom to send it to a watery grave! Of course, I have yet to test it on an actual spider, but it worked damn well on a balled up piece of purple Easter grass. I cannot say I am eager, but I am at least anticipating my next arachnid run-in. Bring it on mofo.


No legged freaks
I have lived in this city for five years and just now discovered the northern suburbs have what can only be described as a major worm situation. It rained while we were hanging out* at the parents' house, which in a normal neighborhood means you get a couple little worms chilling on the sidewalk, right? No such luck in this crazy town. These worms come out in full force like they are staging a take over. The driveways were all covered, and these suckers are massive! I shit you not, some of them were a foot long (think Indiana Jones in the snake pit), and they were everywhere. Which meant, to get to the car, I had to tip-toe in flip-flops around them while they writhed and wriggled (rather unpleasant), and poor Karen, in heels, couldn't help but impale the mega-worms with her stilettos (squish, "ewww," squish, "ewww"). Not a damn bird in sight.


If you're ever on Jeopardy - The housefly hums in the middle octave, key of F.

- lada keeps on truckin'

*Can I tell you how rowdy four twenty-somethings (well, Karen's practically thirty) can get when they are hunting for Easter eggs that are filled with quarters. Inhibitions were tossed to the wind. Russ came out with ten bucks; Brittney lost, but we love her anyway. My parents are freaking awesome.