Happy Halloween

Last week - I'm in a public restroom in a hotel. I'm just sitting down to pee, when this too friendly women in the stall next to me starts talking:

too friendly: Hello, how are you?
lada: Er. . . I'm good . . . you?
too friendly: What are you doing?
lada: Umm. Uhh. Peeing.
too friendly: What are you doing later tonight?
lada: (freaking out) Actually, I have a business dinner.
too friendly: Listen, I'm gonna have to call you back. Every time I ask you a question the person in the stall next to me answers.

Haha! Okay, so that didn't really happen - it's a joke my new boss told at all of our training sessions. Which means I heard it five times and yes, I laughed every freaking time. Do you want to hear his other joke? No? Too bad.

So, I had a meeting with [insert name], your CEO. We were meeting at the airport in one of those executive clubs. I go in using his name and while I'm sitting there waiting, do you know who I see? Bill Gates. Now, I'm a salesman, so I decide to try and make the most of the situation. I go up to him and introduce myself. I tell him I've read all his books and I am a huge fan. Then I tell him I am meeting an important client and could he possible come over and pretend like he knows me? He laughs and says that he admires me just for asking - so, he will be happy to do it.

Later on, I'm in the middle of my meeting with [CEO] and things are going well. Then Bill Gates comes over. He puts his hand on my shoulder, leans over and says to me, "Bob, it's been awhile! How are you?"

I look at him and I say, "Beat it Gates, I'm busy."

Funny? Oh well, they can't all be keepers.

If you're ever on Jeopardy: Everyone knows there are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange. Did you know the same is true for the colors purple and silver? But, who cares about silver and purple. . . they are not pumpkin colors!

- lada has exocised the demons