Room #201

I am in my hotel room in Raleigh and there is something funny going on in room #201. I know this because I am in room #203. I am currently going back and forth between two working theories of what exactly is happening next door:

1. He is taking his time torturing and/or killing her
2. They are fucking like pumas

I am fairly sure it is the latter, but every once in a while, the yelling and thumping reach such a loud pitch that it really makes me wonder. I suppose if he were physically harming her, she would probably be yelling something like, "help!" or maybe, "please stop torturing and/or killing me!" or at least, "ouch, these thumbscrews hurt!"
What she is yelling (over and over and over in that my-brain-is-too-preoccupied-to-think-of-anything-new-to-say kind of way) is, "damnbabydamnbabydamnbaby!" I also heard him say something one time, but I shall not repeat it in mixed company; however, to give you an idea, it was in the middle of what sounded like a spanking (or some sort of slapping torture) and a period of particularly fierce wall thumping.
The thing is, I really am a prude about this kind of thing. Granted, I am a 26-year-old prude not a 90-year-old prude, but some things still make me blush. I have thought about knocking on the wall to alert them to my presence, but the problem is, I am too nice. They really sound like they are in the middle of something quite. . . er, intense, and a sudden intrusion from a stranger would be a mother of a mood killer. I just picture the shocked, then embarrassed looks that would be on both of their faces. (I am only picturing faces, mind you - nothing below the neck.) Then in the morning we would both walk our of our rooms at the same time and would look over at each other and try not to make eye contact. Then the three of us would get stuck riding in the elevator together - awkward.

If you're ever on Jeopardy: The largest number of children born to one woman is recorded at 69. From 1725-1765, a Russian peasant woman gave birth to 16 sets of twins, 7 sets of triplets, and 4 sets of quadruplets. (There, that should keep at least some of you from having sex tonight.)

- lada is killing you softly with her song