It has been said that for every subject, there are really only two things you really need to know. Everything else is the application of those two things, or just not important. Here are some of my favorites I found and some that I penned:
The Two Things about Trading:
1. Buy low.
2. Sell high.
The Two Things about World Conquest:
1. Divide and Conquer.
2. Never invade Russia in the winter.
The Two Things about Binary Systems:
1: 0
2: 1
The Two Things about Shoe Buying:
1. Never sacrifice comfort for style.
2. Never sacrifice style for comfort.
The Two Things about National Security:
1. Bring overwhelming force to bear.
2. Let them hate, so long as they fear.
The Two Things about Working with Building Materials:
1. Wood is key.
2. Don't giggle like a 12-year-old when the "L" is not pronounced in caulk.
The Two Things about the Bible:
1. The Old Testament describes a lot of rules and laws we must follow to be allowed into heaven.
2. The New Testament tells us how Jesus died so we can break all those old rules and laws and still get into heaven.
The Two Things about Boxing:
1. Hit.
2. Don't get hit.
The Two Things about Women:
1. When complaining, they don’t want your advice, they want your sympathy.
2. Don’t you dare tell them you can sum them up with just two things.
The Two Things about Driving a Manual:
1. It is better to over-rev the engine then to under-rev.
2. Use the parking brake on steep hills.
The Two Things about Star Trek:
1. Don't beam down in a red shirt.
2. You can always talk evil computers into destroying themselves.
The Two Things about Diamonds:
1. Know the 4 C’s (carat, clarity, color, and cut).
2. Like women, each diamond is unique and special in nature.
The Two Things about Being a Sports Commentator:
1. Make up words.
2. Quote random statistics that no one cares about.
What two pieces of advice can you give? The Two Things about Child rearing - Money laundering - Cooking - Dog training - Football - Safe cracking - Glass blowing - Running for public office - Baby naming? Enlighten me.
101 Things to do (or don't) before you die - #12:
Do get a piece of art into an exhibition.
Don't push the same elevator button more than twice.
- lada loves you, but she is not in love with you
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
Two Things About Child-Rearing:
1. Never Shake A Baby!
2. Be the parent not the friend.
two things about glass blowing
1. blow never suck
2 dont handle a hot rod alone
Two things about driving in the snow:
1) A 4x4 cannot stop on ice any better than regular old front wheel drive.
2) Big snowflakes falling while you drive look like stars in warp speed.
Two Things about Chuck Norris
1) When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he's not lifting himself up, he's pushing the earth down.
2) Chuck Norris does not get frost bite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Two Things About Turning That Pear Into A Peach:
1. Tighten the behind!
2. Tip the pelvis up!
Two Things About Baby-Naming:
1. Don't name your baby Jack if he is born with one-eye! (True story! Ask Monica!)
2. Do give your babies names that are meaningful to you. Like Addison Clark...
(ps...BlogHog, i still like Battle!)
this one is from stephens:
Two Things About Being a Plumber:
1. Shit flows down-hill
2. NEVER bite your nails!
Post a Comment