Too StreetSesame Street has released some of its first episodes from 1969 (Sesame Street - Old School Vol. 1). The DVD features a warning saying "these early ‘Sesame Street’ episodes are intended for grown-ups, and may not suit the needs of today’s preschool child.”
These are some of the "issues" and my personal advice to any child whose parents didn't heed the warning:
- In Cookie Monster's parody "Monsterpiece Theater," C.M. is seen smoking a pipe, which he promptly eats.
CHILDREN: Do not gobble pipes. Take small bites to better savor the subtle smokey flavors.
- A little girl walking on the street is befriended by an older male stranger who holds her hand and takes her home. They then share milk and cookies.
CHILDREN: Yell, "NO!" and run away from strangers (especially if you have a nut allergy and the stranger is trying to give you peanut butter cookies and a glass of whole fat milk.)
- Big Bird cross the street - not at a crosswalk - and nearly gets hit by a car.
CHILDREN: If you are going to cross a street, do it in front of a Mercedes so you can sue the driver and pay for your future college tuition to Yale.
- Ernie is in a bath and asks Bert to bring him a bar of soap. Later he is scandalousy talking to Bert wearing only a towel around his waist.
CHILDREN: Take showers.
- For years, Big Bird was the only one who could see Snuffleupagus. None of the other characters believed he even existed outside of Big Bird's mind.
CHILDREN: Follow these suggestions to prevent schizophrenia. Also avoid LSD.
Too Fat
If you are on Disney's "It's a Small World" ride you may get an extended viewing of the Canadian Mounties. It would appear that the extra 25 pounds most Americans are averaging now compared to the 60's when the ride debuted, is causing the boats to grind to a halt. It has happened often enough that they built a platform next to the trouble spots so stranded guests can get out of the grounded boat. Disney is currently renovating the ride, adding an extra inch of water and designing more buoyant boats.
101 Things to do (or don't) before you die - #13:
Do meet someone with your own name.
Don't be impressed when a Realtor says "crown molding."
- lada is America (and so can you!)
5 comments:
lada...you're gonna be a great parent.
hey! i did meet someone with my own name! i wonder if she impresses people with "crown molding."
k
That's right! My favorite Realtor!
by the way, if you go to your name .com, you are a fashion designer! much cooler than a realtor.
Wow. if Ii go to my name dot com I am a pron star. How awesome is that? Not at all. That's the answer.
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