Mutt

Am I the only one who has so many conflicting personalities?

I am a girly girl - I am a nerd - I am a snob - I am a sports junkie.

Do nerd and jock DNA mix? I don’t know, but I do know that people make fun of me for my various interests. My guy friends think I am a cool girl because I love sports and video games, but then they tease me for reading some chick lit. My sister compliments my rad new handbag but then looks at me weird when I mention the new book that J.R.R. Tolkien’s son wrote. Whatever kids. This is all me.

A comparison of my four basic personalities (in third-person so I don’t feel weird talking about myself so extensively):

lada the girly girl
She: goes out with her girlfriends once a week to sip cocktails at happy hour and gossip.
She eats: dark chocolate
She drinks: Champagne
She thinks: “Midnight in Moscow is my new favorite of nail polish color.”
She wears: Kate Spade
She reads: Confessions of a Shopaholic
She listens to: Fiona Apple
She hates: messy eyebrows
She will name her children: Jack and Sally

lada the über nerd
She: will easily spend 18 hours in one day playing the newest Final Fantasy (she knows the specific uses for potions, antidotes, ethers, and elixirs). Star Wars. Swords and shields. Dragons. X-Men. You get the idea.
She eats: fish sticks
She drinks: cherry Kool-Aid and Red Bull
She thinks: “Oooh, lunar eclipse in February!”
She wears: her glasses so she doesn’t have to squint
She reads: any book about magic, dwarves and elves, or space travel...
She listens to: audio books
She hates: anyone opposed to scientific progress
She will name her children: some random names that will not matter much because she will just refer to each child as “Precious.”

lada the sport fan
She: can’t decide if her heart really belongs to the NFC or the AFC but she knows that either way, the Superfan NFL package lets her watch up to eight games at one time on one screen which is worth every penny of the $300 or so it costs her every season.
She eats: hot wings and bratwurst
She drinks: Old Style or Miller Lite
She thinks knows: “This is going to be the year!”
She wears: her Cubs sweat band
She reads: ESPN.com
She listens to: Pat and Ron call the Cub games on WGN radio on her laptop.
She hates: domed stadiums and pink jerseys
She will name her children: Ivy Addison or Bleu Bear

lada the stuck-up snot
She: believes that, although her opinions are not correct 100% of the time, you should always agree with her just to be on the safe side.
She eats: sushi
She drinks: vodka gimlets
She thinks: “You need to be quiet now.”
She wears: anything from Banana Republic
She reads: anything on Modern Library’s 100 Best Novels of the Century list
She listens to: Andrew Lloyd Webber
She hates: reality television
She will name her children: Kafka or Dante

Am I the only person out there that loves red patent-leather shoes and battle axes equally?

101 Things to do (or don't) before you die - #21:
Do be a human guinea pig.
Don't expect an "egg cream" to contain either egg or cream.

- like sands through the hour glass, so are the days of lada's life