True Friendship - None of that Sissy Crap

I copy and pasted this from an email my mother-in-law forwarded me:

Here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces - just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry individual who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared -- I will try to calm your nerves, unless it is something silly then I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy (drunk) ass, but then I will help you get up.

Remember. . . A good friend will help you move. . . a REALLY good friend will help you move a body. . . let me know if you ever need me to bring a shovel.

Send this email to ten of your closest friends, then get depressed if you can only think of four.

Always remember: when life hands you lemons, make lemonade - when life hands you tomatoes, call me and we'll make bloody marys!

- lada