Free Association: II

(previously on Free Association)

. . . I like college lined paper much better than wide rule, but truth be told, I mostly type. Typing really keeps things much cleaner, it’s like soap for my penmanship. I think Dial soap smells better than Ivory soap; however, if it’s ebony vs. ivory we’re talking about, I really have no preference - unless it is in a game of chess. Then there is only one color to be and that is the color that is going to win because every one wants to win; unless of course, you are a Cubs fan, then you have no choice in the matter. I suppose you could chose to be a White Sox fan but really white sox are so blah, you should try a nice plaid or argyle. That is unless you’re going to Argyle, Texas, then you might be better off just staying home - preferably on a range, preferably where deer and antelope play kickball and capture the flag, or maybe they just fly the flag. Of course they could always burn the flag which is their right, or possibly their left – it is hard for them to tell with hooves for hands. Along with, I would assume, giving the classic "a-okay" sign or a hitchhiker’s thumbs up sign which means no fuzzy antelope playing Heads up 7-up, a pointless children’s game that you can very easily cheat at by peeking at everyone’s shoes. But if you are the type who only plays fair, then know I will still win in the end, but the fight will be a long, hard, sweaty one and afterwards when we hit the showers, there will be bar after bar of Ivory soap, but no Dial to be seen, and I will wonder, “Who’s the real winner now?”

I also think raspberries are a more refined fruit than melons. But that's a whole other story. . .

If you're ever on Jeopardy: Ivory Bar soap floating was a mistake. They had been mixing the soap formula causing excess air bubbles that made it float. Customers wrote in and told how much they loved that it floated and it has floated ever since.

- Frankly, my dears, lada doesn't give a damn