Shopping Tribulations (a.k.a. My Life Is Sooo Hard!)

Don't you hate when you accidentally wear a red shirt when you go shopping at Target? You know, the store that has no dress code other than "wear some type of shirt that is some shade red." Then the people-think-you-work-at-Target-because-you-have-on-a-red-shirt thing happens and they ask you where the Vaseline or Slimfast is located. Now, these are logical questions since the Slimfast is not with the other food products, but in the pharmacy area and the Vaseline is not in the pharmacy, but is located in the baby area. But after you tell the customers this information they wander off without much thanks because they assume Target is showing you its own appreciation for answering customers' questions by paying you a salary. Not the case you fools.
And yet it is easier to just quickly answer their questions then to try and explain to them that you don't actually work at Target because then you have to listen to them apologize and be all embarrassed and then you have to tell them that it is cool, and that you understand why they would assume you work at Target because you are wearing a red shirt. Then everyone has to smile all friendly like. Haha, this was just a silly little mistake between strangers. Oh so freaking hilarious. Grrrr. . .

What is worse is when you wear a shirt that you just purchased, back to shop at the same store where the shirt was just purchased. Then you are standing there wearing a shirt that is the exact replica of ten other shirts hanging on a rack in front of you. Idiot. You get worried that when you leave the store wearing the shirt, someone is going to think you are stealing the shirt - until you realize that you spilled oatmeal on your shirt that morning, so if anyone does think you stole the shirt as you leave the store, you can point out this stain as the evidence that you had in fact, purchased the shirt prior to breakfast. But no one stops you and accuses you of stealing the shirt - which is good - probably because they could already spot the oatmeal stain a mile away - which is bad.

They will however, stop you and paw through your stuff because they think you are stealing if you are wearing jeans you bought six months ago from The Gap that set off the sensor today at Old Navy. And then they lecture you about not cutting the tag off merchandise, tell you where the tag is located, and explain how to cut off the tag (gasp, with scissors!).
To which I say: Shut it you, or I'll cut off YOUR tag!

. . . grumbling. . . more grumbling. . . and I'm done.

I was sent this link to help with my future studies. (lada is really moving up in the world of pee receptacles.) Thanks D.

I'm off to work in Palm Springs for the week so pardon my slow responses to phone calls or emails. Text is your best bet.
Oh, and go Chicago - 2018 Olympics here we come!

Quote of the day - Tim: "No, not to my knowledge, unless I become some somnambulist Hyde who trolls for victims in the dead of night."

- make all checks payable to: lada