Can BJ Come Out To Play?

One funny:
A text conversation with my adopted brother Quique (kee-kay). Names have been changed to protect the innocent. I did leave the guilty names in. I also fixed my spelling - I try to use proper English when texting ("i got here b4 u wher u b @" type of stuff gives me a headache) but that darn T9w always give me "on" when I want "no" and "of" when I meant "me" - so I cleaned things up a bit for the sake of my readers' understanding. Well, it isn't actually clean. . .

lada: For the record - it is 67 down here today. Need a vacation?
Quique: Not as much as I need a blow job
lada: Call Matt
Quique: Impressive. You, unlike others, are capable of thinking of someone other than Brit
lada: Give me a little credit - I am not new to this insult thing
Quique: Oh you get mad credit. Don't you worry about that. So much credit that I've hired a guy to take naked photos of you from the woods
lada: Clever lad
lada: Not to imply that getting a bj from Matt or any other man would be insulting - you can be gay if you want - I still love you
Quique: Well I appreciate your understanding with my situation
lada: Actually I don't understand - perhaps you could elaborate
Quique: I appreciate you accepting that I could be gay and someday I'm sure my partner will thank you for your compassion
lada: My inability to detect sarcasm in text messages leaves me no choice but to ask, so are you gay?
Quique: I thought this was a yet to be decided entity in the mind of you and Karen and Heather and all your little friends
lada: I can however interpret a condescending remark like "little friends"- implying we are a flock of hens clucking about whom you blow
lada: Squawk
Quique: To quote the foremost literary genius of our times, Marshall Mathers, I am whatever you say I am
Quique: Except that you obviously don't blow, hence Matt's glorious entry into our conversation
lada: I don't blow or you don't blow?
Quique: You don't. I'm in question?
lada: I blow like a freaking hurricane
Quique: A hurricane named Ditka?
lada: Oh no you didn't bring da coach into this!
Quique: That isn't the next line...
lada: I do not know the next line nor what I'd be quoting if I did
Quique: You'd be quoting SNL. Bears vs a hurricane named Ditka? Ditka
lada: So you are saying you want to blow Ditika?
Quique: You're getting warmer...
lada: The entire Bears team! Or maybe just the defense? Or an actual bear - a grizzly? Mmm, inter-species erotica. So hot
lada: Not to imply that getting a bj from a bear would be insulting - you can love animals if you want - I still love you
Quique: Bears do lick a lot. If you're into licking
lada: Duh
Quique: Sick
lada: Prude
Quique: Slut. Well, married slut.
lada: At least I didn't sleep with an entire defensive line like you
Quique: This is Quique, not Brit*

*I repeat, this was not the real name used. . . I promise.

One not so funny:
A 17 year old, high school boy from Georgia was sentenced to 10 years in prison for receiving oral sex from a 15 year old girl. She initiated the act. She performed the act. She said in court it was all her own doing, he did nothing. He got 10 years in jail. I understand that just because a man does nothing, he is not excused from blame - a 40 year old man had better stop a 15 year old girl who tries to initiate a sexual act - but these were kids, only two years apart. The law was written to stop pedophiles, not horny teenagers.
The weird part is, if they had had actual sex, it would have been a misdemeanor instead of a felony. WORSE - If she had gotten pregnant he couldn't legally have been charged with ANY crime. You see, then they would have been procreating like good little boys and girls, the way God intended, rather than just having sex for the pleasure of it like heathens. Separation of church and state much?

The prosecutor offered him a plea - five years with the possibility of parole - but he would have been branded a sex offender and if paroled, would not have been able to return to his own home because of a young sister.
The state legislature has since changed the law (specifically because of this kid's case) but for some reason they didn't make it retroactive - so he still has to serve his time.
He appealed to the Georgia Supreme Court. They voted to uphold the ruling 4 to 3.

Ten freaking years in federal prison. How many of you got head when you were in high school? If you didn't it wasn't from lack of trying. Bet it wasn't worth ten freaking years.

If you're ever on Jeopardy: Banging your head against a wall burns about 150 calories an hour.

- lada bites the bullet